Saturday, February 9, 2013

Happy Anniversary!

It was my hope this year to be a more dedicated writer of my creative life . . .  My love of life and all that is creative and inspiring.  To be more open and to focus on the creative themes I have begun.

 It has been almost a year since my last entry and yes the guilt is grueling but if any of you have an elder parent you know how blending that with your already busy life is a challenge.

 I love my mom she is so talented and has done so much for us. My brother, sister and I.  I am the eldest and I also live nearby.   I have always called her the original Betty Crocker or Martha . . . . she has always been great with money and shopping, decorating, sewing and bargain hunter! If she was just able to type I might put her to work on her own blog she would have a knack for this . . . I know . . .

But ten years ago on my husband on our anniversary she had a stroke. I was actually with her and got her to the hospital before any damage had occurred.   Mike and I left for dinner and I got up early to get to the hospital because more tests were to be run.  I was too late - I arrived and she was not in her room.  I asked at the nurses station and the two nurses exchanged looks . . . my first clue that something was not right.  One of them finally said she is down in the basement being scanned, so off I dashed and as soon as I walked in the room, my mom that I had known all those years was gone.  The whole left side of her face was now drooped.   Later I was told her left arm and leg also had been affected.

I guess there is a reason we cannot see into the future because  I had it in my head, ok in a year she will be back to her old self, and I worked with her diligently.  Showering her, blow drying her hair, dressing her yes she was in a facility for the first two months but I was there everyday to start her day.  My brother came and we moved her to a better rehab facility, but still I kept coming each morning decorating her room with cards and  grooming her.  I know the staff thought I was annoying I am sure but when I did step out they left her sitting on the pot for more than an hour.  So that was not acceptable to me . . . .   One day I arrived to shower her and she was already in the shower with a male nurses aid showering her.  Yes I flipped out . . . .  my mom's comment shocked me, "Anne you are just taking all the fun away!"  Ha Ha . . . .  yea I guess in away I was . . . . she was 78 at the time and that probably was the most excitement she had had in a long time . . . so much for my helpful hands.

 Looking back I took everything so seriously only because I wanted more than anything for her to get better.  I hosted her birthday party there that year and tried so hard to make this time for her as enjoyable as possible.   We moved home after two months.  I learned to transfer her to a car and we were able to go to lunch and short jaunts.  We hired caregivers and most of those we have had were great in taking care of my mom.  It is hard though having someone in your family home and learning how your family does things . . . I could go on and on.   We had my mom go to all kinds of therapies and Stroke Camps, water therapy and lunches with the girls.  Holidays were all the family pitching in and making favorite dishes she used to make.  Memories . . . ten years of memories I will treasure.  She did not regain the use of her left hand or leg.  But we look at the bright side and are so grateful that she can speak and has her funny sense of humor.  We just celebrated our 42nd Wedding Anniversary, Mike has been so supportive of all the times I am gone and the dinners he cooks himself.  We have a tradition that I make a card every year.  This year it has been raining all week so I had this idea . . . . from another Blog of course putting crayons through a cheap glue gun!
Yes it works, but they are very liquid-y, very . . . . I actually want to try it on something larger like a canvas but here is my card~ Happy Anniversary Mike and mom we celebrate your life too!  Here is to many more years being the best we can be!